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Loving Your Imperfections

Somewhat impulsively, I decided to drive to Land's End this morning where I could sit outside overlooking the ocean, feel the fresh breeze and be surrounded by the colorful wildflowers. I wanted to take the time to reflect on how I've been relating to people, if I'm being honest with myself and what I fundamentally desire in a partnership. I also wanted to process some feedback I've received recently that I am far too analytical and that I "should" be better at letting things flow.

Loving Your Imperfections

I will be the first to admit that I am not good at simply allowing things to move where they choose to go and flow easily like a stream. This is fundamentally rooted in a desire to "know" and potentially to control situations. With love and with life in general, we learn the lesson over and over again that there are so many things in life in which we have very little control. But it can be really tough to loosen our grip on the illusion of control.

I often have challenges understanding the dialogue, interplay and ultimately the resonance between my heart and mind. This is one of the biggest reasons that I find dating and relationships so challenging. With love and relationships, I'm actually more comfortable in the realm of the mind than the heart. I would rather go the path of analysis and understanding than listening to what my heart really desires.

To add to that mix, I'm a romantic at heart and have a huge imagination, which leads to wonderful and magical stories that I can create in my mind about all the possibilities of what "could" be, however these stories often override the reality of a situation.

While I was at Land's End, I started down the path of the times I've made some small missteps in dating, and I began wondering if I am unconsciously sabotaging potential relationships because of my fears or desire to control. Again, I found myself somewhat stuck in my mind and on a path of self-doubt. 

Then, as I was walking up the stairs, I saw the words "I Love You." It was a gentle reminder to myself that we're all imperfect works-in-progress and that dating can be quite challenging and full of ups and downs. I believe, though, that we're all doing our best, and at the very least we're trying. That doesn't mean we won't make mistakes, and I suppose we can only hope that those people who really want to know us more intimately might overlook our missteps. 

Most importantly, I found that sign as a reminder that we have to continue to love ourselves, flaws and all, throughout the process of dating and life in general. A specific aspect of your personality might be overwhelming for one person might fit, but might fit like a glove for another.

At the end of my morning reflection, my wish for myself and others was that we love and appreciate ourselves as we are. While there is always room for improvement and we should strive to become better humans, we should be compassionate with ourselves and our flaws, and always be gentle with our hearts.